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  Crave organizers DJ Alicious and MJ at last year's celebration. Photo by OSI. It’s that time of year again folks where we all celebrate fun, friendship, quirky intersecting life movies and the joys of trying to get a cab in Portland after midnight.
Thursday the 29th
The Cafeteria – The Cafeteria is back after a Thanksgiving hiatus that all had us wondering if LunchLady really would return from Lala land for one of the best neighborhood parties in P-Town. So start your New Year’s weekend off right in faux high school style.
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  Zombie cheerleaders are a perfect outfit for 'Haunted Cafeteria' and more proof that Halloween is the gayest holiday Thursday
Haunted Cafeteria – School daze goes spooky so have your dead cheerleader costumes and Carrie style pigs blood ready for this party that has it’s little neighborhood venue bursting at the seems every month. And the man behind it all? Well, that would be our DJ of the Week, your adorable LunchLady.
Friday
Wicked Awesome cover bands party – This half dance party half cover band show is truly going to be epic. You can read all about it in yesterday’s interview with creator Freddie Fagula.
Q Center & Crush present Mas-Q-Rade – Perhaps more of a gentile or at least community feel to Halloween in the oh-so-swanky-dark tomb of Crush. They always have interesting drink specials so it will be interesting to see what they come up with for Halloween. I’m expecting smoke.
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  We don't need another hero, we just need Mrs. Beyond Thunderdome Saturday There’s always lots to do on the weekend but only one weekend is bigger than the weeklong celebration of International LGBT film, PLGFF. We’ll have previews all week long so stay tuned.
Thursday
Cafteria‘s Saved By the Bell edition – It’s time to bust out the cuffed acid wash jeans and use that aerosol to make those bangs into a wave. I’ll even lend you my scrunchie if you meet me at the Peach Pit. Ok, so it’s a special moment of fun nostalgia made right for my exact generation. So let’s all recreate the junior high experience we never had k?
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  Del Shores shares all his 'Sordid Confessions' Sunday at Red Cap Thursday
Hot mess talent contest – The first week of the up-and-coming local talent competition. Can we beat Tyra in snarkiness or Simon Cowell in cruelty? Well it’s time to find out.
Streateaters, Mishaps, Fucking Lesbian Bitches – Goddamn dyke punk ok?
The Cafeteria – Summer school’s in session so it’ll be all the bad girls and boys in class this week…
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  The infamous Lady Bunny performs Friday at Red Cap Thursday
Sugar Town queer soul night – Rotture’s soul night has become a staple in Portland nightlife both gay and straight. But as with many popular nights the douchebags inevitably catch on, and it can be even worse at a “straight” night. I’m not sure if this happened to the beloved soul night, but it was time for us to have our own anyway (Pansy Soul is great but Sloan’s is more for hanging out than dancing). Anyway, all of this to say I’m more than a little excited that one of the best dressed butchies I have ever seen, DJ Action Slacks, will lead us all in a little soulful 70s love starting this Thursday, and hopefully forever more. It’s free but donations for Q Patrol are welcomed.
Cafeteria turns 1 – Oh my god Freshman year is over! Now we can give swirlies to all the new queer club nights in town. And guest DJ Girlfriends will be spinnin’ in your parents’ back yard (i.e. the Vendetta patio) ’til 11, just like at the popular kids’ parties. We’ve made it folks. Sophomore year is gonna rule.
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  Celebrate our nationalism in any way you choose. For instance, use an American flag postage stamp as a sexy loincloth to barely cover your naughty bits! Thursday
Rice, Beans, & Collard Greens – Pride’s not over according to Basic Rights Oregon, API Pride, Black Pride and Latino Gay Pride as they round out the month with a dance party for queer and trans people of color. And a great way to usher in our fireworks-crazed American Pride celebration weekend. (I’m already hearing the firecrackers going off in my neighborhood as I write).
RnRCFG benefit with Portlandia stars Brownstein and Armisen – So many great things in one: comedy, philanthropy, helping girls rock out, movies, music, TV and a VIP room with two talented comedians/musicians who’ve made our city the Pride of liberal-loving America and the butt of its jokes at the same time. What’s not to love?
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  Double Duchess perform Saturday at Blow Pony Thursday
Not Enough! benefit dance party – Last Thursday becoming a bit too tame and straight and bridge and tunnel for you? It’s our chance to queer it back up while raising some funds for Not Enough! and having a gay ol’ time.
AIDS Walk kickoff party and Swimwear fashion show –
Prom Night at the Cafeteria – Creator DJ Lunch Lady promises to a spiked punch bowl and a pregnancy scare at this wonderful reimagining of the high school night you never had (even if you did go, was it really all you dreamed?). Double bonus for not fearing expulsion and for me to use one of my favorite phrases, “I’m off like a prom dress.”
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  Katz, aka Athens Boys Choir looking dapper Katastrophe with Athens Boys Choir –It can be tough to find good all-ages happenings but SMYRC has got what you want in awesome ass-kickin’ transguy hip hop visiting for the second time this year. And it’s even free for your younguns under 24. Some hip hoppers to our north may be getting a lot of noise lately but Rocco and Katz have been at it for awhile now, paving the road for other homo hop. They’re talented, they’re irreverent, they’re hot, and apparently old school now…
Cafeteria – Wish my high school had had $150 PBRs all night…Relive the adolescence you wish you’d had with DJs Lunch Lady, Ill Camino and TransFat.
Friday
Don’t forget the PSU Queer Resource Center’s QSoC conference goin’ on all weekend long.
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  Teenage dream Kaia wilson sings songs from her 90s rock roots Friday at Mississippi Pizza Thursday
Neal Morgan, Hungry Ghost, STLS & New-Dadz DJ Association – Get in the drum line for this booming early show at The Know (2026 NE Alberta). Percussion punk is alive and well in Northeast.
The Cafeteria with guest DJ Mr Charming – Lunch trays and crunk gays is the perfect neighborhood dance spot for the almost weekend. In case you’ve missed Mr Charming at any of her other super successful parties and appearances lately you get another chance. She and DJ Lunch Lady made it rain downstairs at Blow Pony last weekend and this will be the same, except smaller and more elite.
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 Saturday's 'Blow Pony' features Serendipity Jones Thursday
Forgive Me Father at Pivot – I have no trouble reconciling my hedontistic, panganisitc spiritual desires with my homosexual ones, but many of those who hold more subdued beliefs do. This night is for them. There’s quite a movement incorporating faith with gay liberation and this is just the function to explore that.
The Cafeteria – Vendetta is a small venue but this school themed night has it bursting at the seems. And don’t think you’ll be safe by showing up at 9. The door gods take station at the early work time of, like, 8 or something. Thank god it’s worth it.
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