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 The second installment of New Yorker Liz Gold’s recurring column on maintaining a long distance relationship with a Portlander. And it’s just in time for Thanksgiving when many of us are thinking about those we care about far away.
The nature of being in a long-distance relationship is that at some point you have to say good-bye.
Good-bye for right now, that is, not good-bye forever.
But sometimes it can feel that way.
In my last column I talked about the “amp up” or that time right before seeing my partner, Captain. It’s the 48-hour window of adrenaline, excitement (and yes, anxiety) that happens as I gear up to head cross country to Portland to visit him – or on the flip side, the juice that I feel getting ready for his arrival to Brooklyn.
But of course with the amp up, comes the descend and it starts for me about two days before I know we are going to part. My emotions start working overtime, my senses are heightened and I tend to cry. It’s not pretty and I work on it and Captain is patient with me, but it can be trying because it catapults me into the future taking me out of the present moment.
The point is to enjoy the time we have with each other. And that should be the point for all relationships regardless of whether one is long distance or not. Am I right?
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  Have a gay Thanksgiving with this rainbow turkey and be thankful I didn't choose the image of the naked bear as meaty centerpiece Wednesday
Riot Wednesdays present Riot: Rewind – DJ Rhienna keeps it real with cross colors early 90s hip hop style so you can go into the holiday season with a fond memories of Christmas music and fashion wishes past.
Thursday
Portland’s young crowd from across the country often doesn’t have family in town or needs a break from family on holidays so nightlife goes on. But this year it seems everyone decided to stay in with wine and tryptophan induced coma. I’m totally ok with that…Happy Thanksgiving!
And for those of you who don’t have plans and are at a loss as to what to do our friends over at Dave Knows Portland put together a list of things to do on Thanksgiving (and Christmas day) every year!
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  This is what you've got to work with folks In this season of family, food and shopping I thought it might be fun to take a break with some art, design, and sexiness to balance it all out. So here’s a contest Lifestyles Condoms is conducting with an iPad Grand Prize. You know, just in case Mom and Dad don’t come through with the tech toy gifts in this economy. Put those under-employed design skills to use, even if you do have to deal with the indignity of hipster spelling (because skyn is much cooler than skin).
And if you’re not the designer type but do love trolling the internet and giving your opinion you can vote on others submitted designs starting December 7th. You can find official rules, specifics and how to submit in their Facebook app.
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  The charismatic Canadian queer duo, Tegan and Sara, recently released their CD/DVD combo “Get Along”. The live album has 15 classic T & S tracks and the DVD includes three short films.
“States” is a 3o minute documentary of the twins’ US tour which includes interviews and fan base connections. “India” follows their first ever tour in India. “For the Most Part” is an hour video of concert footage shot with 75 fans in an intimate studio setting.
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  Gay square dancing at the Village Ballroom Special one time review from Eleanor Alice, a member of a queer women’s dance group, discusses the return of gay-friendly square dancing to the Village Ballroom. qPDX featured a review back in 2009 but the event has now returned and the Ballroom is under new management. Eleanor’s review is based off Sunday November 6th but it continues every week so check it out this Sunday!
I heard rhythmic live string-band music as I approached the Village Ballroom on NE Dekum Street- and inside I found a roomful of happy people dancing on a very ample, springy wood floor. The dance hall was very cheerful, clean, and well-lit. The caller was an incredibly enthusiastic woman from Seattle and my first square was all-female- eight very happy women dancing in a group.
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  Carla Rossi hosts the Thanksgiving edition of Peep Show this Friday Thursday
Lucinda Williams – Singer songwriter loved by the lesbos takes the stage at the Crystal Ballroom.
Friday
Del Shores‘ Sordid Confessions – Del tries to make up for standing us up last time he was in town. The creator of the cult favorite TV series Sordid Lives (starring Olivia Newton-John, Rue McClanahan, Leslie Jordan and Caroline Rhea) is touring his hilarious new standup show. Raunchy, gay and not for the feint of heart, this seems like a delightfully small venue to catch the outrageous one man show.
Peep Show Thanksgiving with Carla Rossi – Little Tommy may be on vacay but there is no lack of talent in this Turkey day celebration of drag and performance. Hosted by wino Carla Rossi you’ll get to see favorites such as Fannie Mae Darling, Georgia Ray Babycakes and Melody Awesomazing while being introduced to some newcomers with fabulous names like Dionysus, ShpongledHoops and Austin Tatious. (Dammit why did I think of that drag name? I ever have an Austin necklace) Also, make sure you fight the tryptophan and wine induced coma to dance afterword with some of your favorite DJs.
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  For those of you who are not up to date, we are about 3 weeks into Trans Awareness Month. Sunday, November 20th, Portland is recognizing Trans Day of Remembrance. This day is to commemorate those who were victims of transgendered related hate crimes.
Rita Hester was murdered on November 28th, 1998. Her murder started the “Remembering Our Dead” project, which in turn started the Trans Day of Remembrance. According to the TDOR website, more than one person per month, over the last decade, and eight people this year alone, have died due to transgender-based hate.
To help spread awareness, PSU’s Queer Resource Center is having an annual free vigil event. There will be a day of workshops and a march to honor Trans Day of Remembrance.
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Last week, Logo (LGBTQ cable network) announced Portland as “Sexiest Spot” for its third annual New Now Next travel awards. The panel of global travel experts determines the best up and coming destinations and hotels. Added this year, were writers from Lonely Planet, New York Magazine, Travel & Leisure, NY Dailey News and Town and Country Travel. There were two new categories of the awards also added this year; […]
  Corrina Bain performs Friday as part of Q Poetry's Award Open Mic. Thursday
Hot Mess Grand Finale – Whether you’ve been attending religiously for the past 12 weeks or just want to see how it all turns out, tonight’s final contest is sure to be a knock down drag out fight to the hot mess death. With 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prize packages starting at $700 you know these queens are going to be giving their all and putting on a good show. But who will win? Jackie Daniels? Jam N Toast? Allie McQueen? One of the other 6 contestants with or without an odd drag/stage name?
Wild Flag record release show – This one’s a bit of a non-starter. Not only is it the second night of a 2 night set, but it’s already sold out. However, I’m sure there’s a scalper or two out there and with regular tickets a reasonable $12-14 they shouldn’t command too much of a premium. But if you’re not willing to risk it these locals are sure to play again soon. In the meantime check out Wild Flag videos and news in earlier posts.
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Liz Gold, a New Yorker and part-time Portlander, will be swinging through town to catch some cultural activities for qPDX. She also plans to write an occasional column discussing how to be in a cross-country relationship. So stay tuned!
 The Amp Up.
This is the best part.
My partner, Captain, lives in Portland. I live in Brooklyn.
Think about that for a minute.
It’s far. Like 2,500 miles far. But it’s really when I’m on the plane staring at Iowa on the distance map Jet Blue provides that I realize, holy crap, we really live far apart.
Otherwise it’s pretty normal for us. And he doesn’t ever seem that far away.
We are bicoastal and open/polyamorous. I consider him my primary partner, though I’m not a big fan of that language. Typically we see each other every six weeks – for anywhere between 10 days to six weeks depending on our schedules and circumstances – and we both travel to each other’s respective homes.
The longest time we were apart was at the very beginning of our two and a half year relationship and that was for nine weeks. We both agreed that was too long. As a result, we’ve found a length of togetherness that works for us – just enough to feel we are getting ample quality time with each other, yet not too much where we start to get outrageously itchy for our autonomy.
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