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 a better title than, "Shut the F*** up, Sweet Charlotte!"
I am new to the term Psycho-Biddy, but this kind of film has been one of my favorites since I was young. I think the most famous might be Mommie Dearest, but especially during the 1960’s, aging stars were clamoring for these roles. First, let me acknowledge that without the right analytic eye, these movies could certainly be interpreted as anti-feminist. The message is, that unwed women in their older years are CRAZY, and will probably come at you with an axe.
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 Feminism? Not sure... but satisfying? Definitely. Warning! This movie depicts ax murders! Warning? More like Welcome! Why stay satisfied with Faye Dunaway’s impersonation, “Christina, bring me the ax!” Instead, you can watch a movie where the actual Joan Crawford swings one around. It’s Joan playing a woman named Lucy, and Diane Baker as her daughter. Also, Lee Majors makes his first on screen performance as her murdered husband. Lee went on to become very famous, for among other things, starring in “The Six Million Dollar Man”.
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Teacher’s pet, I wanna be teacher’s pet…
 The school play is a vehicle for her true feelings... Mädchen in Uniform, one of the most important films of all time, is lesbionic. Made in 1931, it’s an artistic commentary on fascism and queer love. The movie is set in Prussia, and illuminates a young lady name Manuel, who is a new student at the world’s harshest all girl’s boarding school. On her first day, she is stripped of all her personal possessions and bullied into her appropriate place on the food chain.
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Trees can be evil!
 It's Bright? It's Wonderful?
Well, this blog was late. Really late. I have some excellent excuses, though. What kind of proper queer would I be, if I didn’t have some awesome excuses? Thank you, San Francisco, for being a little too much fun this weekend. So, let’s dry out, and take a wholesome journey together to appreciate a Disney Classic.
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 Tiny People and Gorillas Save The World! The Incredible Shrinking Woman: a movie for the people.
First of all, if you didn’t know already, this movie stars the Incredible Lily Tomlin! Take a deep breath, and chant with me… Lily Tomlin, Lily Tomlin, Lily Tomlin! LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin.
Don’t you feel a universal awareness that befits you?
Amongst the many things you can learn from watching this movie, and perhaps one of the most valuable, is a small piece of advice: If you get shrunk to being just a few inches tall, stay AWAY from the garbage disposal.
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 There were a lot of covers to choose from, but this is the one. All of the children are in the evil-soaked womb of the grandmother! IF your mother ever says, “Listen, we don’t have anywhere else to go. I just need you all to stay locked in this attic of this mansion a little while longer,” think about it carefully. Actually, don’t think about it. Grab an ornamental object, knock her out, and run away!
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No, this movie isn’t pre 1970, but it’s fairly unknown, and that’s a crime.
 This movie has nothing to do with prison.. maybe... the prison of the closet Welcome back to a world of queer beauty where you’re perfectly safe from all the things you have to do today. I won’t let them get you.
So, you know how icons such as Barry Manilow (who makes a cameo) are hetero icons, but homo at home? This movie is ALL about that. We can’t ignore the age long stereotype that the “perfect man” is sometimes gay. Of course, gay men will tell you that isn’t really true. It’s the idealism of the unattainable that’s perfect.
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Welcome back to the glamorous world of flaming film! For all of you with a taste for the absolutely absurd I’d like to proudly present to you…
The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T
 You know what they say about people with 5,000 fingers...
“The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T” is definitely a contender for the weirdest children’s film. I mean, maybe the wacky Czech stop-motion “Alice” with dead animals is crazier, but animating taxidermy is really just cheating your way to the top.
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Who rocks sequins during the day, has a room devoted to Marie Antoinette, and drinks gin like water without losing a single social grace (besides my friend Rachael)? Why, Auntie Mame, that’s who!
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  Doris Day on the cover of Collier's Don’t get me wrong. I adore how accessible making a movie has become thanks to the digital age. I can make a movie, you can make a movie, and the Olsen twins can make a movie. Almost all of that is pretty great. (cough cough)
However, I was watching a new movie yesterday, which shall remain nameless, and it depicted a real hard slice of American life. It was one of those slow moving works of probable fiction about a man who is so pathetic that you feel sincere pain in the marrow of your bones as you watch him sulk across the screen. Sulky managed to almost put me to sleep when I fell into an almost lucid trance and had a glorious vision.
I dreamed of Doris Day, and not just any version of Doris either. To promote the release of “April in Paris” in 1952 Doris appeared in full technicolor glamour on the cover of Collier’s, and not alone. She posed with poodles.
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Everything is more fabulous in Technicolor!
Doris Day on the cover of Collier's
Don’t get me wrong. I adore how accessible making a movie has become thanks to the digital age. I can make a movie, you can make a movie, and the Olsen twins can make a movie. Almost all of that is pretty great. (cough cough)
However, I was watching a new movie yesterday, which shall remain nameless, and it depicted a real hard slice of American life. It was one of those slow moving works of probable fiction about a man who is so pathetic that you feel sincere pain in the marrow of your bones as you watch him sulk across the screen. Sulky managed to almost put me to sleep when I fell into an almost lucid trance and had a glorious vision.
I dreamed of Doris Day, and not just any version of Doris either. To promote the release of “April in Paris” in 1952 Doris appeared in full technicolor glamour on the cover of Collier’s, and not alone. She posed with poodles.
Continue reading »