Your pre-V-day weekend includes scruffy bears, ‘Red parties,’ ‘Pink parties,’ ‘Infinite Darkness,’ Vagina Monologues and an all ages show with STLS

Thursday

Labworks with video by D4N30V3R – PDX can be a really packed for the queerion and we can often feel sucked into the scene vortex. So bust out this Thursday with some beats that you can dance to sans pop. Queer DJ Sappho is a wicked spinstress worth the trip to straightland.

Friday

Bearracuda Scruff Night – I’m sure there are plenty of well groomed chubby cubbies out there, but this night is for roughnecks. So let that 5 o’clock shadow turn into a Portland hipster beard and let your Sunday morning outfit out to play. And even when the parties over you can find your scruffy puppies through your smartphone. Oh what a brave new world.

Crave‘s pre V-Day Red Party – Despite having a huge contingent of queer ladies Portland used to have a tough time hanging on to a good mainstream dyke party. But that hasn’t been true for a couple years now. Crave is the place to be if you and your sweetie want to be seen and an even better place to meet that go go dancer of your dreams to slip a Valentine to.

Vagina Monologues 2011 – Since Valentines day has never been one of my big favs I’m excited to see it taken over by female empowerment. Although I guess making your boyfriend buy you flowers, gifts, and chocolate has always been fairly empowering. This production takes place at PCC Sylvania throughout the weekend with the Sunday performance as a matinee.

Bent – I get it. I got it. I know it’s good. It’s the Bent. You want it. I got it. You know you should…(Bonus points if you get the reference).

Saturday

If you’re not shackled to fighting the hordes of “intimate” restaurant-goers with your sweetie this Saturday there are a couple happenings here and there. My own housemate is voting for anti-V Grinches to get together to watch 80s horror movies while another FB invite advertises tequila and porn. I think the latter celebrates Valentines Day quite appropriately.

Mrs. Infinite Darkness – Relive those heady high school goth days where you swayed in dark dresses and cried yourself to sleep for no reason other than adolescent hormonal imbalance. We all know love and darkness go together so bring your black magic into the bedroom and onto the dance floor with witchy hosts Nicoletta Gaywad and Tino Valentino.

Pink Party (Salem) – Most Portlanders probably won’t get out this far for a party but if your a real fan of the February holiday color scheme you can hit up the Red Party on Friday and then don your paler pinks for tonight at the Flipside. And you can get the VIP treatment with table reservations if you want. Oh shoot!

All ages show with STLS, Atole, Starparty and Magic Johnson – You know you’re hardcore if you’re enjoying the pounding drum sounds of STLS on a day where everyone else is whispering sweet nothings softly into one another’s ears. Forget that man, it’s time for some lady queers to get their beatific aggressions out on the skins. No alcohol and at the small feminist bookstore, this brings back the punk rawk days of my misspent youth.