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Trees can be evil!
 It's Bright? It's Wonderful?
Well, this blog was late. Really late. I have some excellent excuses, though. What kind of proper queer would I be, if I didn’t have some awesome excuses? Thank you, San Francisco, for being a little too much fun this weekend. So, let’s dry out, and take a wholesome journey together to appreciate a Disney Classic. Continue reading »  Tiny People and Gorillas Save The World! The Incredible Shrinking Woman: a movie for the people. First of all, if you didn’t know already, this movie stars the Incredible Lily Tomlin! Take a deep breath, and chant with me… Lily Tomlin, Lily Tomlin, Lily Tomlin! LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin. Don’t you feel a universal awareness that befits you? Amongst the many things you can learn from watching this movie, and perhaps one of the most valuable, is a small piece of advice: If you get shrunk to being just a few inches tall, stay AWAY from the garbage disposal. Continue reading »  There were a lot of covers to choose from, but this is the one. All of the children are in the evil-soaked womb of the grandmother! IF your mother ever says, “Listen, we don’t have anywhere else to go. I just need you all to stay locked in this attic of this mansion a little while longer,” think about it carefully. Actually, don’t think about it. Grab an ornamental object, knock her out, and run away! Continue reading » No, this movie isn’t pre 1970, but it’s fairly unknown, and that’s a crime.  This movie has nothing to do with prison.. maybe... the prison of the closet Welcome back to a world of queer beauty where you’re perfectly safe from all the things you have to do today. I won’t let them get you. So, you know how icons such as Barry Manilow (who makes a cameo) are hetero icons, but homo at home? This movie is ALL about that. We can’t ignore the age long stereotype that the “perfect man” is sometimes gay. Of course, gay men will tell you that isn’t really true. It’s the idealism of the unattainable that’s perfect. Continue reading » Welcome back to the glamorous world of flaming film! For all of you with a taste for the absolutely absurd I’d like to proudly present to you… The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T You know what they say about people with 5,000 fingers...
“The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T” is definitely a contender for the weirdest children’s film. I mean, maybe the wacky Czech stop-motion “Alice” with dead animals is crazier, but animating taxidermy is really just cheating your way to the top. Continue reading » |
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Everything is more fabulous in Technicolor!
Doris Day on the cover of Collier's
Don’t get me wrong. I adore how accessible making a movie has become thanks to the digital age. I can make a movie, you can make a movie, and the Olsen twins can make a movie. Almost all of that is pretty great. (cough cough)
However, I was watching a new movie yesterday, which shall remain nameless, and it depicted a real hard slice of American life. It was one of those slow moving works of probable fiction about a man who is so pathetic that you feel sincere pain in the marrow of your bones as you watch him sulk across the screen. Sulky managed to almost put me to sleep when I fell into an almost lucid trance and had a glorious vision.
I dreamed of Doris Day, and not just any version of Doris either. To promote the release of “April in Paris” in 1952 Doris appeared in full technicolor glamour on the cover of Collier’s, and not alone. She posed with poodles.
Continue reading »