The Tequila that leaves a bad taste in your mouth

Ladies across the land felt disappointed and betrayed, if not surprised, last night when Tila Tequila chose Bobby, meek and normal straight white dude, over Dani, the super hot dyke firefighter on the last Shot At Love.

Dani, your shot at love has ended…or has it?

On the whole this finale was a bit anti-climactic. We met the families again. I’m sorry, drooling teenage boys are only entertaining once, if at all. The mom cat fight was fun for a second but I can’t believe everyone else was so chicken they didn’t say anything one way or another. The photo shoot was almost hot but we got such tiny glimpses. Even the last dates seemed like banal recaps. The only mildly amusing portion was their time in the studio when Bobby failed miserably at effective lyrics, rhythym and voice and bopped around so awkwardly Dani felt compelled to call it “gay.” If only, pink-shirted Bobby, if only. My man, Dani, on the other hand, busted it out like nobody’s business. She put the show in it’s place, kept it real, and even emphasized the gun show on her biceps. Tila was so heated up she drifted from her mic to massage and rub up on Dani.

So wait, who did you choose again and why? My friend Jane’s guess is that Dani might eventually live up to, or even eclipse Tila’s tentative grasp on fame. With Bobby she can lead around the naiive young man by the nose, keeping him at her feet, her beck and call, as long as she needs him.

So it’s probably good you didn’t win Dani. Now you’re the most eligible bachelorette in the country. And was Tila ever really bisexual anyway? I doubt we’ll ever know. But I do think we’re likely to see Dani strutting around town with a new hottie on one of those well-chiseled arms every week and probably a cameo on the L Word as well.

But I gotta say the show did a really great job, toward the end, of making me believe that the people involved might actually be feeling real feelings. Kudos, to you Tila, for making even the most jaded among us believe in your sincerity, even if the jury’s still out on your intelligence. But for all your inability to string together a proper sentence, you’ve got an empire, an MTV New Year’s Eve special, and a puppy dog boyfriend. I’ve got this blog. My meanness is all I have left. You win.