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The Incredible Shrinking Lesbian!

Tiny People and Gorillas Save The World!

The Incredible Shrinking Woman: a movie for the people.

First of all, if you didn’t know already, this movie stars the Incredible Lily Tomlin! Take a deep breath, and chant with me… Lily Tomlin, Lily Tomlin, Lily Tomlin! LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin LilyTomlin.

Don’t you feel a universal awareness that befits you?

Amongst the many things you can learn from watching this movie, and perhaps one of the most valuable, is a small piece of advice: If you get shrunk to being just a few inches tall, stay AWAY from the garbage disposal.

This movie seems like a campy comedy, and it is that, but more importantly, it’s a dig on consumerism. Well… it’s a dig on a lot of things, really.

We open at the grocery store. Advertisers standing outside are literally shoving squeeze cheese into people’s faces, and attempting to make them say how yummy it is to a video camera. I’m pretty sure that’s a felony in 18 states. Anyway, Lily Tomlin, or aka Pat Kramer, leaves the grocery with her insane family. The woman tasting the cheese turns to the camera, and says it tastes like, “Shit”.

this is right before robby the robot attacks her.. all of the real-size props and costumes are amazing!

After this moment, a dream-like product placement and jingle scene occurs. They quickly encapsulate Pat Kramer as an ideal hetero mom living in an ideal hetero world. It’s also full of all the perfect products to keep your perfect suburban family in the modern age. The surrealism goes to 11, and is just over-the-top enough to be awesome!

think of all you would save on bathroom items... don't drop the soap! on her.

Her family is obnoxious, and her husband (purposely) is the worst of them. He’s right out of Mad Men. He works for an ad agency that sells poison to children, and expects his wife to be pretty in pink when he get home from his hard day of LIES. Truthfully, Charles Grodin does a great job playing the all too 50’s in the 80’s husband that wants Pat to sacrifice just a little bit more…

It’s a tester perfume that he brings home from work that begins her shrinking process. I watched this movie at a very young age. Even today, when I go to put on cologne (or smells, as Allison calls them) I get a twinge of fear that I’ll wake up tomorrow, and have to live in a dollhouse.

a little bit worse than the old wedding ring down the disposal...

Antics, antics, antics. As Pat starts to shrink, befuddled at her downsizing, her best friend, Judith (also played by Lily Tomlin) starts to crusade against chemicals in our household products. She is convinced that corporations have it out for the American public, and that making a dollar is more important than our safety. You think? In 1986 this wasn’t as commonly talked about as it is today. There is a great scene with Pat cuddling a Ken doll. Perfect platonic snuggles, as both of them are gay in real life.

Truly, a dynamic duo... if only they'd conquer the world.

It isn’t just the messages, the life-sized mini props, or Lily Tomlin’s sweet and snarky demeanor that make this movie great. It’s a safe space. When I’m watching it, I feel transported to a place where I’m not the weirdo, the suburbanites are the weirdos.

Lily’s partner since around 1971, Jane Wagner, wrote this. They’ve NEVER publicly denied their relationship. Lily even got into it with the late Johnny Carson over jokes reffering to her sexuality. She’s a not a take-shit kinda gal. You should check out their award winning monologue project, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. It’s amazing, all the characters that Lily portrays are dynamite. Just more queer soulmates enriching our cardboard and styrofoam existence.

When Pat first starts to shrink, she rides in the kiddie-cub of the grocery cart. See the overt product placement in the background? .. but it doesn't taste like apples?

The movie is darker than you’d expect. When the company that her husband works for abducts her, you get an uneasy feeling. They want to isolate why she shrank, and do WHAT? Why, they want a weapon to shrink the world! (so they can hold it, and listen to that Disney song? You know the one…)

😀

They keep her in a hamster cage, and as a kid I wondered if she had to use the bathroom in the bedding shavings.  She makes friends with another of their captives, a person in a guerilla suit that can sign! Okay, so we’re supposed to think it’s a real guerilla, whatever. Both ideas are poignant. Over and over, I’d watch that scientist’s hand reach into her cage as she’s attempting to run inside the hamster wheel.  How Looney Tunes.

 

Well I could go on and on… and dammit if I don’t have that “Galaxy Glue” jingle stuck in my head.  Watch this movie to support 1980’s feminism, watch it to cheer on the lesbians, or watch it… because tiny things are way rad.

HERE is the only link on the internet to watch this for free. Warning.. it came from a VHS copy, but dear gentlequeers, it took me hours to find for you.

AHAH! click this if want the Galaxy Glue theme song stuck in your head. I know you want to.


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