The Delicate Smell of Flowers in the Attic!

IF your mother ever says, “Listen, we don’t have anywhere else to go. I just need you all to stay locked in this attic of this mansion a little while longer,” think about it carefully. Actually, don’t think about it. Grab an ornamental object, knock her out, and run away!

Many, many, many people have seen this movie, or read the book by essence author, V.C. Andrews. I just made that up, “essence author”. I call her that, because, she essentially wrote the books that made her famous, V.C. Andrews books have been coming out long after she died in 1986. Oooh.. a real ghost writer!

I don’t feel snarky about that. A lot of the story lines that the new writer used were written by Andrews. I also know that the fans probably felt pretty good getting books after their heroine was dead. More orphans, more incest, more violence in closed family structures… I just want more!

Plot wise this movie is a simple tale. A family of weird blonde children is left with only a mother after their father dies. They end up moving in with their sadistic grandmother, and all four children are locked into a bedroom their first night. I know, that would be the first sign to get the hell out of there, but what good would that be to us?

Now’s a great time to mention the reason the mom has been estranged from the grandmother. It’s because she married her uncle, and the children are all products of incest. The niece-uncle union stirred up the inner zealot in grandma, and then some whippings, bible in hand, ensued. Oh, and when I say whippings, I mean with a LEATHER whip. I know, because there’s a scene in the movie where you see it!

So grandma hates the children more, because they are the spawn of the devil. Oh man! She even calls them the spawn of the devil. So, that’s the first mention of incest in the movie. There are many differences between the book and the movie. There’s no incest between these siblings in the film, although, there are allusions. However, in the book, the oldest brother rapes the oldest sister in a jealous rage. Don’t worry, they work it out.

 

One of the most Amazing-WTF things about this movie is how much the children endure before they say, “You are some CRAZY B******S!” Between the neglect of the mother, and the many abuses of the grandmother, I’m surprised that the house staff didn’t intervene. But see, now I’m treating it like all of this is plausible. Abuse is real, of course, but this was always meant to be .. um.. Gothic Pulp?

Let’s chat for a minute about why the queers LOVE them some FTA. Someone recently asked me what makes this movie queer. I couldn’t spit out an answer that wasn’t, “Didn’t you just see the mother give arsenic cookies to her children???” That isn’t a thought out answer though.

I put this movie in the same category as Mommie Dearest or Carrie. A category called, “Watch overly innocent characters get plowed over by angry crazy ladies!” It’s the camp value of watching these insanely vicious women tear through other people like jerky. Then, they reapply their make-up, and do a photo-shoot. They’re someone to hate, imitate, and quote to your friends after a couple of daquiris.

I don’t know how many drag performances I’ve seen devoted to Mommie Dearest. It would take an entire troupe to pull off a Flowers in the Attic reenactment. I’d love to see “CJ and the Dolls”, or Poison Waters get on board with that. Imagine, when grandma goes to pick up Carrie by the hair, all that she gets is a wig, and a kick in the nethers. Oh, and to hear that nostalgic line as Cathy shoves a poisoned cookie at her newlywed mother, “EAT the cookie!”

A LINK to the entire movie on Youtube! How lucky are you?

 

Here’s another good one to a website that loves V.C. Andrews more than I love me some orphan on orphan action…

P.S. Will someone PLEASE make a musical out of this? There has been a remake in negotiations for a while now, we’ll see…

Everything in Technicolor