Interview with dating guru Kathy Belge

Kathy Belge

You might know freelance writer Kathy Belge for her butch/femme advice column that once appeared in Curve, Lipstick & Dipstick, but her good advice carries special weight in the dating scene. And now she’s offering to share dating tips with the lez-masses in person in a several city tour in conjunction with meetup.

In her first Lesbian Dating Skills Clinics in Portland Belge jumps into Part 1: Dating Basics this Sunday February 12 3-5:30 pm. Location to be given after registration. Special introductory offer. $60 per person or $100 for two includes wine, snacks and hand-outs.

Just in time for Valentine’s day, this workshop is for women who are new to dating, coming out of a relationship and need to refresh their skills or any woman who just wants to get better at dating and meeting quality people.

We got the chance to ask Belge what it’s all about and what skills (or ladies) you’ll really walk away from this workshop with.

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Getting back to it (together but apart)

Right before I leave Captain’s place in Portland, I start revving up for my return to Brooklyn.

It’s been something I’ve consistently done, not exactly consciously, but as I sit on his couch at my laptop thinking about how in a few days I will be back across the country, I want to start scheduling time with people and activities. It sort of eases the pain and separation anxiety of saying good-bye.

I’ll be the first to say being in a bicoastal relationship can be weird. It’s strange to spend almost all your time with someone for a couple of weeks at a time and then separate and get back into a rhythm of e-mails, texts and Skype dates.

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Bicoastal Baby: Ushering in surrender

All things change.

I know, deep right? But it’s true. And it’s especially true when you are in a relationship with someone who lives across the country.

And sometimes it presents challenges.

For one, sometimes your financial situation changes. When I met Captain, I was working a full-time corporate job (not making much money) but I was gainfully employed and had the basics covered even though I was miserable. At some point, after we became more serious, I went from full-time to telecommuting so I could travel and visit him. This was both my ticket out of cube culture and a way for me to support my budding romance. But now, a year out of leaving my job and a year into my freelance life, my finances have changed and while I have way more flexibility on my hands, freelancing doesn’t always equate to steady work, which means less money in the pocket. And less money in the pocket sadly means less funds to pay for those airline tickets. We’ve been lucky, however, and have always managed to have the resources we’ve needed to make a visit happen. And a large part of that has been to planning.

Secondly, long distance relationships go through the same stages as geographically intimate relationships – they just take longer to get there and adjust. We had a great honeymoon stage – full of passion, sexy whispers and future plans. That’s not to say those plans and passion don’t exist now that the shine has worn off a bit, but let’s just say we are more realistic. We are also settling into our respective homes (in our respective cities) a bit more.

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Portlandia is also SugarTown, Gaycating, Glowing and checkin’ out some Lez Stand Up

Crave producers MJ (L) and DJ Alicious at last year's Glow party. Photo by OSI Photography.


SugarTown Ice Cream Soul-cial – Last month’s very first ST was a sweet sweet success. Despite the sound trouble early on this celebration of sweetness and soul left a pleasant taste on everyone’s tongue. The music was fun and a nice respite from the usual club fare, the sweet treats for sale were cheap and delicious and there were just enough people to create plenty of opportunities mingle and dance without that claustrophobic and intense heat sometimes generated by popular nights. Sweet Thursday perfection. *


Crave presents “Glow” – Crave’s annual black light party is always a messy success. And as the creators are moving on to that bigger glow stick coast city Los Angeles, it might also be your last chance to feel the dark light love. This is your chance to relive your raver days or revel in what you missed for those of you in your 20s.  But get there early cuz this tiny space fills up fast with females, and besides, they have killer drink specials before 10. *

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Classifieds now available on qPDX!

Would you like to buy my wares? Trade? Date? Get a ride?

Just in time for the weekend qPDX has introduced some new and exciting functionality…Classifieds and Personals! Sure, Craigslist is great and all but, aside from being plain and boring there’s plenty of disrespectful folks trolling around. Here, you know you’re talking directly to your community (troubling as that term may be) and that the platform is made “by us for us.”

For example, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve really wondered where to post my particular personal ad. Is it W4W? Well, what if I like transmen too…or even bio men? Posting an ad in the straight dominated W4M just doesn’t get the desired results.

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Start your Valentines month off right

…with tales from the dark side of dating. It’s Not Me, It’s You takes place tonight at the Bagdad Theater (3702 SE Hawthorne) and celebrates all that is awkward, bad and downright shameful about dating. An antidote for the upcoming V-Day or a reason to be grateful for your perfect little love muffin, these storytellers have some real tales to spin. And they are all devastastingly true. Even better, I make a brief appearance in one. Let’s see if you can guess which…

We’ve all had them: dates that go terribly awry. An evening of personal stories told live onstage, unscripted, just telling you the painful truth. You’ll leave either feeling grateful for your current relationship or with the realization that being single isn’t so bad after all.

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Lesbian bookworms

"Whispers in the Wind" by Frankie Jones

Despite our grey skies and perpetually falling drizzle Portland lesbians are some of the best when it comes to going out. That said, winter can be more about reading a novel cozied up to the fireplace and, if you’re lucky, maybe a little snuggling.

Split the difference and head out to one of the many literary lady lovin’ events.

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Lindsay Lohan’s “eHarmony” dating profile

Oh I do love love a girl that doesn’t take herself too seriously. And really who hasn’t dated a few redheads who have been in a car chase or 2 and had a restraining order? I think I’ve dealt with enough crazy…maybe I should call her for a date?

Lindsay Lohan’s eHarmony Profile from Lindsay […]

Gay dating on the iPhone

Grindr's main search page. Only the hottest boys in whatever town this is apparently...As someone who is admittedly rather tethered to my iPhone I am all kinds of ready for gay dating to make its way to the location based computer god in your pocket. But, as usual, Grindr (iTunes link), released today, is only for the boys.

I suppose in reality you don’t need this service in Portland because on any given night you pretty much know where are the queer people are going to be, but as someone with occasional social awkwardness (which is also not unusual in this town) a technical crutch might be a handy aide.

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