Can’t we get over my penis? (missed connection pt.2)

Can’t we? And I quote “Can’t we get over my penis? It’s not even that impressive; more like an extra-large clit. What are you, sizeist now?” This delivered straight from the missed connection section of craigslist. It’s hilariously titled “Missed Connection with Every Lesbian Girl I’ve Ever Swooned Over.”

I’m not going to ask the question of why. I know why. Gay women are hot.

Imagine me and the drunken dude.

Women are hot. Women kissing each other with no men present is hot. Honestly, I think that the bi women are the ones who really get to men. There’s potential there.

Straight dude to me on New Year’s Eve at the E-Room: Do you want to dance?

Me: Like with you and your gay friends?

Dude: No. Just me.

Me: So you came here to meet women?

Dude: Yup. I actually have better luck here than at the straight bars. There are bi-girls.

Me: Why do you think that is?

Dude: I catch them off guard. I actually kind of thought that you were one of them.

Me (laughing): I’m 110%.

We dance, sort of. I drunkenly tell him that I used to be a high school wrestler. I ask him if he wants to see a few moves. I don’t think that he understands that I’m being serious. I try to show him the Fireman’s Carry (ie I try to toss him over my shoulders). He gets really freaked out.

I’m not entirely sure what my point is. Only that there’s something hot about the lesbo, but still, getting tossed over a girl’s shoulder in the middle of a dance floor on NYE is a little bit too much for a straight boy to handle.

Imagine me and the drunken dude/image courtesy fighters only magazine.

In other news, some guys just want to be friends/date with lesbians. This post is ripped straight out of Portland W4W site and is titled vaguely “chill, wander, draw, talk – 23 –

In his defense of his penis he states, “Just pretend I’m a girl with a permanently attached strap-on.”

So either the dude has an enlarged clit (not unlike a trans man), or he has a strap on.  But to quote Bitch and Animal, there is a difference between a strap on and the real thing: “it’s eternally hard.”

In other news on the potentially straight boy front, before Lilo and Sam break up they should definitely come up with a sex tape. This is also pretty hilarious. The writing style of this post is frankly amazing: “These two have a hot minute left before Lohan returns to the cock from whence she came. That Chase Crawford thing was a close call. I beseech thee Mrs. Ronson: Get that firecrotch on film!”

The cock from whence she came.

I beseech thee.


3 comments to Can’t we get over my penis? (missed connection pt.2)

  • alleyhector

    Of anyplace, the boy (who looks like a dyke) and dyke pairing can work in Portland. (I recently saw a former date of mine down the street and thought he was a cute girl).

    But even still I’ve had the weird ultra-straight dude a little too forceful with his attentions at a queer event. At a recent Crave I had to literally run away and hide behind some girls I had just met.

    It always catches me off guard because it seems to me my gender presentation would keep at least the stereotypical straights away but alas…I usually go for the girly boys and they are often harder to sway…

  • BrittanyJeanine

    Oh, there are so many of these crazy conversations… How do they muster the confidence?

    To you, I ask…

    Do bitch tits come with that permanent strap-on? Either way, I’m not interested.

  • Lilo and Sam DID break up. And they never had time to post that proposed sex tape.
    But Lilo just posted her eHarmony video: