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Bicoastal Baby — Who said it was easy?

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Who said it was easy?

I said for me, long distance is a choice. I never said it was easy.

Well, it’s a choice most of the time, but that’s fodder for another column.

Luckily I’m not alone in my struggles (that’s not to say I wish struggle among others, it’s just nice to know folks in a similar boat).

Take D. for example. D. is a heteroflexible male med [...]

Getting back to it (together but apart)

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Right before I leave Captain’s place in Portland, I start revving up for my return to Brooklyn.

It’s been something I’ve consistently done, not exactly consciously, but as I sit on his couch at my laptop thinking about how in a few days I will be back across the country, I want to start scheduling time with people and activities. It sort of eases the pain and separation anxiety of [...]

Bicoastal Baby: On neutral ground

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Greetings from Cottonwood, Arizona. I’m here with Captain as we decided to meet and spend a week in the Sedona area before starting a road trip back to Portland to celebrate New Year’s.

I really enjoy meeting in a neutral place, aka not my place and not his. I guess you could call it a vacation – though we are both working. But mainly, it’s a treat to get away [...]

Bicoastal Baby: Ushering in surrender

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All things change.

I know, deep right? But it’s true. And it’s especially true when you are in a relationship with someone who lives across the country.

And sometimes it presents challenges.

For one, sometimes your financial situation changes. When I met Captain, I was working a full-time corporate job (not making much money) but I was gainfully employed and had the basics covered even though I was miserable. At [...]

Is parting such sweet sorrow?

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The second installment of New Yorker Liz Gold’s recurring column on maintaining a long distance relationship with a Portlander. And it’s just in time for Thanksgiving when many of us are thinking about those we care about far away.

The nature of being in a long-distance relationship is that at some point you have to say good-bye.

Good-bye for right now, that is, not good-bye forever.

But sometimes it can [...]