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A weekend of beauty parlors, homo talent, old school cafeteria and house parties and the chance to earn some booty

Last year's Homo's Got Talent winners Nicolette and Pony, aka, Art School Dropouts

Tonight

The Cafeteria at Vendetta – The inaugural lunch lady themed new gay night at my new local bar mere blocks from my new gay house! It should also be the perfect cool down from Last Thursday, and it’s, you guessed it, within walking distance. Lunch trays and crunk gays (and $1.50 Pabst) within stumbling distance? I’m there.

Purple Rhinestone Eagle’s tour kick off – Awesome queer punk tour kickoff with STLS, Forever, and DJ Permanent Wave in between sets at Backspace (125 NW 5th). Um, have you ever heard a band with two drummers? Now is your chance dude. It’s time to rock out with whatever you got out.

BITE (Bringing Individuals Together for Equality) – More into low key noshing for a cause? 30% of food sales from the day at the Gilt Club (306 NW Broadway) will go back to Basic Rights Oregon. And they made the city’s top 10 list of burgers. So it’s going to be especially worth it for my fellow carnivores.

Friday

Play/Start, Vibrato & Tender Hooves – Looks like it’s yet another weekend where rock reigns supreme. And this show’s so punk it’s at a house. Remember those good parts of high school? Yeah!

Parlor On the opposite end of the spectrum, you might want to get all fancy and have a big queer spa day. I think these tired bones are more for mani/pedis and massages at this point in my life than sweating it out in a basement, but to each their own. This is a benefit for both In Other Words and community member Naomi, who is currently in beauty school and will be the lead cosmetologist for the evening. Did I mention hot DJ jams and infused drinks?

Gay takeover at Snap!

Blown – Blown is back, apparently, but I’m not sure I ever went before. I did, however, attend many a good night at the Crown Room (205 NW Fourth Ave), and they have hella cheap drinks before midnight. So it’s worth checking out.

Snap!Not explicitly a queer night Snap! is put on by awesome community member Coco Madrid and it’s their 3 year anniversary. Besides, once we had a queer takeover organized in one day and it made the whole night totally gay. I mean, the 90s were pretty gay anyway right?

Saturday

The Great Gay Treasure HuntI love this idea. I mean, I love a dance party, a BBQ, a river trip, all the stuff we do all the time. But a novel idea? Even better. An Amazing Race around stumptown with a real cash prize of a 1000 bucks. Nice. Tomorrow is the last day to register your 2-4 person team online, or you can register the day of for an additional charge. But it all goes to charity so you’re good either way.

Homo’s Got Talent in the Jupiter CourtyardLast summer’s HGT was pretty off the chain, but it was in the dank E Room Tomb. I am much more looking forward to this year’s sunny Jupiter courtyard (800 E Burnside). Last year’s food mashers, naughty bit danglers and WINNERS the Art School Dropouts will be gracing the stage once again to hand over their crown. This time the harsh criticism will come from celebrity judges Mr. Charming, Sea Man and Sossity Chiricuzio. But who will take the crown? No one knows but I’m sure they’ll step up to outdo last year’s acro-balance superheroes, choreographed yo-yo ing, dinosaur tango, pony-prancing, whip-cream & twinkie debauchery.

Chunky Dunk

Sunday

Rabbit Rabbit Double Rainbow summer garden party and BBQ – The line between public and private parties has always been blurry in Portland, but especially so when there are houses that host public events often. What I have dubbed in our events calendar as All Summer, No Bummer is a private abode, but they want the queers to come out for dancing, eating, and lounging in the kiddie pool this Sunday afternoon. It starts as early as 2 and will wind down in the nighttime hours with some live acoustic music and jam sessions. Plus they have a killer fire pit. Sweet, lazy fun.

Chunky Dunk Trans Fat edition benefiting the Gender(Free) For All – I’m kind of a public pool hater. Yes, I realize all kinds of people and animals pee in the river, but in the pool it’s a small contained area that is only cleaned by eye-searing chemicals like chlorine. And you never know what to wear when you’re not quite the body size or gender norm. Well, annoying hordes of screaming kids and nasty stares have been replaced by this party which celebrates a diversity of bodies kickin’ it poolside. And Penninsula (700 N Rosa Parks) is nicely large and interestingly rounded pool with a ton of free play toys to balance and float on, or battle with.  I’m just hoping queers go inside to use the potty.

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